http://www.formspring.me/kjcheerleader
so ive officially given up on everything…
why you ask?
because im done caring about people who don’t care about me. I spend way to much time making sure everyone else is happy so I drive myself insane because I never have time to make sure that im still happy. and im done with feeling alone and unwanted every single day. that’s why.
were too young for this. it sucks falling for someone, getting attached, getting used to them “always” being there. the pain of heartbreak is more overwhelming than the feeling of “love” itself. its fun when everything is all good, but once it all turns to shit… it was never even fucking worth it.
im so afraid that if I say the wrong thing, or make the wrong move, you’ll just leave. you’ll say “fuck this” and walk out of my life. no warning. no explanation. just the memory of you.
there is no point in dwelling on the past. whats done is done. there is nothing that you can do to change what has already happened. I mean, yeah, it hurts. and sometimes we’d give anything to have things back to the way they used to be.. but sometimes, I guess its easier to walk on by and not look back
have you ever had one of those days where you hate the world? and anything that happens, even dropping a pen, makes you wanna cry….
REMINDER;
Fake a smile. Don’t let them know your hurting. They don’t care anyways.
im not even upset, hurt, or angry anymore. im just tired. Im tired of putting in more effort than I receive. im tired of holding on for nothing. im tired of believing all your lies. im tired of you proving me wrong every time. Im tired of getting my hopes up and being disappointed again.
the worst type of crying is the silent one. the one when everyone is asleep. the one where you feel it in your throat, and your eyes become so blurry from the tears. the one where you just want to scream. the one where you have to hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet. the one where you cant breath anymore. the one when your realize the person that meant the most to you, is gone.
at some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone or something. that the only next possible step to do is to stop. leave them alone. walk away. its not like youre giving up, and its not like you shouldn’t try. its just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. what is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be
you were her everything. you destroyed her from the inside out, but shes always going to forgive you. shes always gonna want to be with you. but she knows it wont happen, so theres nothing she can do but tell you shes alright
her eyes don’t light up when she hears your name anymore. she doesn’t get chills when you walk by and her heart doesn’t race when you smile at her. you don’t get her like you used to. youre just a bad memory in the back of her mind. so don’t be surprised next time you make your way past her and she doesn’t even glance your way. and don’t bother trying to talk to her, you wont get a response. shes over fighting the same losing battle. the saddest part is that you have no one to blame but yourself. she gave you every chance you asked for. and you fucked up every time. now she walks around with nothing but a smile on her face, and she laughs louder than ever before. looks like you’ve lost her bro.
why is it always that? guys always get over me so fast. and they never want me back. they never fight for me. they never ask me to stay. they never tell me not to go. they always just let me go, so easily. they don’t care. and im just left heartbroken. nobody wants me. im just pathetic I guess… bye
you can say sorry, but it will never fix the damage that you did to me. yes maybe the cuts will slowly fade over time, but the scar will always be there. whats it like being the reason someone took a blade to their own skin? people like you remind me why I shouldn’t get attached and why I have issues trusting because I always get hurt. you know what? im finally sorry too… im sorry for ever falling for you. im done feeling like this. im done feeling worthless. im letting go and I couldn’t be more ready to. I hope she was worth it.
I don’t know what happened. but today is bad. ive tried to hold back the tears but they just keep coming. the pain in my chest is excruciating. I feel hopeless. I just want this to go away, I want to be better. what the fuck
I just want to listen to sad love songs all day and accept the im long forgotten and some other girl is better than me… today is my last day being sad over you not loving me… Ill soon learn that no one could replace me because im genuinely one of a different kind.
